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I barely got any sleep last night. How can I sleep after that? I was out with Saira and she got a text from one of her girls, apparently Crystals pregnant..and Ricky’s the father. I’ve just shut down completely, I don’t know what to think.  I don’t want to think about it..all this time I’ve been feeling guilty about messing up and he’s been playing the field?And with crystal of ALL PEOPLE. I’m a firm believer of karma but this is something else completely. I refuse to believe it. But at the same time I can’t stop thinking about it. He came home late again last night and thought I didn’t notice, he lay beside me and I just stared at him the whole night thinking to myself..if he’d done this, how could he sleep so soundly?. This is a mess…

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